I Ain't No Joke

I ain't no joke, I used to let the mic smoke Now I slam it when I'm done and make sure it's broke When I'm gone no one gets on 'cause I won't let Nobody press up and mess up the scene I set I like to stand in a crowd and watch the people wonder, damn But think about it then you'll understand I'm just an addict addicted to music Maybe it's a habit, I gotta use it Even if it's jazz or the quiet storm I hook a beat up, convert it into hip-hop form Write a rhyme in graffiti in every show you see me in Deep concentration 'cause I'm no comedian Jokers are wild, if you wanna be tame I treat you like a child then you're gonna be named Another enemy, not even a friend of me 'Cause you'll get fried in the end when you pretend to be Competin' 'cause I just put your mind on pause And I can beat you when you compare my rhyme wit' yours I wake you up and as I stare in your face you seem stunned Remember me? The one you got your idea from? But soon you start to suffer, the tune'll get rougher When you start to stutter that's when you had enough of Bitin' it'll make you choke, you can't provoke You can't cope, you should of broke because I ain't no joke I got a question as serious as cancer Who can keep the average dancer? Hyper as a heart attack, nobody smilin' 'Cause you're expressin' the rhyme that I'm stylin' This is what we all sit down to write You can't make it so you take it home, break it and bite Use pieces and bits of all the hip-hop hits Get the style down pack then it's time to switch Put my tape on pause and add some more to yours Then you figure you're ready for the neighborhood chores The E-M-C-E-E, don't even try to be When you come up to speak, don't even lie to me You like to exaggerate, dream and imaginate Then change the rhyme around, that can aggravate me So when you see me come up, freeze Or you'll be one of those seven emcees They think that I'm a new jack but only if they knew that They who think wrong are they who can't do that Style that I'm doin', they might ruin Patterns of paragraphs based on you and Your offbeat DJ, if anything he play Sound familiar, I'll wait 'til E say, "Play 'em" So I'ma have to diss and broke You could get a smack for this, I ain't no joke I hold the microphone like a grudge B'll hold the record so the needle don't budge I hold a conversation cause when I invent I nominated my DJ for president When I emcee I'll keep a freestyle goin' steadily So pucker up and whistle my melody But whatever you do, don't miss one They'll be another rough rhyme after this one Before you know it, you're followin' and fiendin' Waitin' for the punchline to get the meanin' Like before the moral of my story I'm tellin' Nobody beats the R, so stop yellin' Save it, put it in your pocket for later 'Cause I'm movin' the crowd and B'll wreck the fader No interruptions 'til the mic is broke When I'm gone, then you can joke 'Cause everything is real on a serious tip Keep playin' and I get furious quick And I'll take you for a walk through hell Feed your dome, then watch your eyeballs swell Guide you out of triple-stage darkness When it get dark again, then I'ma spark this microphone 'Cause the heat is on You see smoke and I'm finished when the beat is gone I'm no joke --- I Ain't No Joke - Eric B. & Rakim and Rakim