Mixed Emotions

Stuck with all this dread and I can't fight it, so I'm callin' out Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways Don't gotta tell me, 'cause lately, I been tryin' to change And it's unhealthy the way that I been takin' the blame I let 'em hate me, 'cause I don't really care I'm sick of goin' through the motions, tired of losin' focus Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken? I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless I wish that I could dive right in it, love when I'm winnin' I been nonstop workin', 'boutta burst through the ceiling But the outcome never seems to match what I'm feelin' And the thoughts run through my head, they don't want me to breathe again Yeah, and it's been killin' me to see just what my life's like Yeah, I went to therapy to try to get my mind right Told me I'd feel better if I'm stayin' out the limelight But I couldn't do it if I wanted And I can't explain this feeling My heart's been fighting my brain All up in flames and I've been I've been callin' Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways Don't gotta tell me, 'cause lately, I been tryin' to change And it's unhealthy the way that I been takin' the blame I let 'em hate me, 'cause I don't really care I'm sick of goin' through the motions, tired of losin' focus Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken? I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless I got too attached to my past, now I gotta kill the old me Lost way too much, so don't tell me that you know me Lost everyone I had in a while and now it's feelin' lonely Try to stray from this path but I can't, 'cause it chose me I can keep goin' on but I save my breath I distract myself, just write another check And I just gave a quarter-million to the IRS Another quarter for a trip just to decompress So tell me why it's not workin' When I could buy like anything I want, life should be perfect But there's more to me than what you're seeing on the surface Happiness was something I could never seem to purchase I swear, like everyday, I been hurtin' And I can't explain this feeling My heart's been fighting my brain All up in flames and I've been I've been callin' Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways Don't gotta tell me, 'cause lately, I been tryin' to change And it's unhealthy the way that I been takin' the blame I let 'em hate me, 'cause I don't really care I'm sick of goin' through the motions, tired of losin' focus Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken? I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless --- Mixed Emotions - Josh A