Everything for Everyone

Everything for Everyone On the back of the bathroom door that's my university degree I've been hunting for a job but they seem less than plentiful At least I found an apartment in an up-and-coming neighbourhood And I moved in with a newly-single young professional My name is Kirsten, I'm a coder, I've just evicted a freeloader: Marcus, my ex-boyfriend, an armchair endocrinologist He always finished my sentences and he rarely did the dishes Told me men's hormonal systems make them non-monogamous One Thursday afternoon I was on the sofa eating Lucky Charms Updating my LinkedIn profile, emailing my parents When my roommate burst in cursing like a sailor in a cyclone I knew something was the matter, Kirsten wasn't super into swearing Hey what the frig are you doing updating your LinkedIn profile? The tide is high, the end is nigh, the apocalypse is imminent! I raced to the window, looked down into the street My breath left me like a vacuum, I wasn't sure what I was witnessing Down on the pavement a crowd of people were just lying there It was like that Radiohead video circa 1995 or thereabouts But unlike the music video everybody was wearing their pyjamas Some were silk and some had penguins on them and everybody was camping out There was our neighbour Mr. Baker rolling out a camo sleeping bag And Cheryl from the health food store who claimed everything was a carcinogen There was James the neighbourhood watch captain snuggled up with Jim, the gym teacher Jim and James were well-respected for their volunteer work with senior citizens There was Mrs. Miller, the florist, with floral pillows and a duvet And Carl the concrete caster with his sleep apnea machine The elderly twins who ran the laundromat, the guy who drove the school bus And the lady from the grocery store with the tan like a Christmas tangerine I turned around and asked hey, what's the big emergency? Looks like the neighbourhood just got together to have a public nap And while I must admit it's strange to see the mayor in his jammies Everybody looks tired and happy and I can't see anything wrong with that Then Kirsten spoke to me, slowly, like you might speak to a spaniel Obviously there's been some sort of societal cataclysm Today the government announced there's no new work for anyone anywhere And the government itself is now a simple algorithm I said Kirsten, hakuna matata, we ought to get our slippers So we threw on a couple old kimonos and got in the elevator And we lay down on the pavement and it was warm and it was wonderful It felt good to be surrounded by so many interesting neighbours The sun was sliding down the sides of buildings like marmalade on a crumpet And most of us were yawning and couldn't help but close our eyes As the evening pulled over us like a cozy crocheted afghan We sang ourselves this public lullaby: Before the earth is swallowed by the sun, All we want is everything for everyone. --- Everything for Everyone - Ariel Sharratt and Mathias Kom