Black Cloud

Breathless day by day It gets harder to exhale Breath by breath I feel my lungs closer to Closer to collapse From distrust my chest is hollow My world is caving in The walls are enclosing me When I look in the mirror, and your face is staring back at me Those last days will forever trail me In my dreams I will be taken back To when I watched your final breath Leave your chest Sick and dying That image is most vivid The way out it's an ugly fucking bitch Your life is over I've felt cold ever since With you dead it's hard to give a shit My privileges I honour And that is why I'm fucking here Despite everything I have to aspire I can't help ruining my own life The drop from here to hell Is what I'll live with Before you start stop yourself Save it for someone else I know that I'm not well I gave up I'm run down this is my burden I don't want your fucking help I wouldn't want to know me I'd pick someone else I don't know why my mind resonates with the worst of times Everyday all I feel Is this burn I wish I knew why it feels so good Maybe I'm a narcissist Maybe in your eyes I am selfish Everyone relates to trauma Some will understand better than others When it cycles this is how it is It's a black cloud, and everyday is piss When you think it can't get any worse Oh it happens, Oh it happens Fuck --- Black Cloud - Beguiler