Val Kilmer

I always thought my movie Would be a comedy Not quite the tragedy that its become More slapstick than chick-flick More Caddy-shack than Breakfast At Tiffany's So, thank me at the podium for a lifetime of contribution Turn on the cameras Someone cue the extras Hair and makeup to the set Because the big screen's callin' Final casting call Its your big shot baby your the next big star Of another stupid movie 'bout a guy with a broken heart Who's fallin apart Your headed for the cutting room floor And in the sequel honey I'm the guy who gets the girl So if you miss my movie Get the DVD Check out the chemistry Between you and me Less Raising Arizona More Steel Magnolias So when you walk down that red carpet I hope you trip and fall I hope someone squirts you with a watergun A super soaker filled with pee Because the big screen's callin Final casting call Its your big shot baby your the next big star Of another stupid movie about a guy with a broken heart Who's fallin apart Your headed for the cutting room floor And in the sequel honey I'm the guy who gets the girl All apologies To Kevin Costner and that chick from Monster Give me Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Belushi and even Val Kilmer He was funny in 'Real Genius' What about 'Top Gun'? No, 'Top Gun' wasn't funny Whatever Top secret was funny too But he sucked as Batman Because the big screen's callin' Final casting call Of another stupid movie about a guy with a broken heart Who's fallin' apart Your headed for the cutting room floor And in the sequel honey I'm the guy who gets the girl --- Val Kilmer - Bowling for Soup