Rookie

I never thought this could be me I guess you never do Until it's happening to you Like all the fun turns into shame And all the 'could have beens' Rearrange So little time so many crimes Guilt like a chain chokes my will away Redemption never seemed so cruel And all my gods never seemed so weak Wake up engage Now derailed and enraged It used to be so easy Get up I'm game Now sick and I'm tame Counting cost with loss Where is the hope they gave Don't think I can't hear you laugh I used to be a lot like you but now I'm only me I used to be a lot like you but now I'm only me I'm only me Drinks to pills to shots Fun turns into shock A habit and a pawn For every hand goes round The pain gets so damned loud The hammer hits and I'm down, and I'm down, and I'm down, and I'm down Trust no one Hey why should I They give me the poison dressed like life Cheated smacked up and diseased Cry to sleep and fight to eat Used to be a pro at this Now I've broken my own wrist Rotten teeth and life unsung You'll forget me when I'm gone