He's Tony,
he's Steve,
he's Neal,
he's Jim,
he's Terry,
he's Den,
he's Willie.
We're going to do the Romford Rap for you,
though you might think it's silly.
But believe you 'n' me, it's all how they all talk snooker in the Matchroom Club.
It's rhyming slang, come on everybody, all pin back your lugs!
Now to start the game, upon the Cain,
there's 22 Bugle Calls.
For those of you that are confused,
that's 22 snooker balls.
Now 15 of them are Newly Weds,
then you got the ol' Rubber Kite.
Newly Weds, well they're the reds,
and the Rubber Kite's the white.
It's the Romford Rap, the Romford Rap, open up your trap and give me some that...
[CHORUS]
Whether you're a Paddy or a Taffy or a Jock or a Jap,
Whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black.
From Brixton, Bow or north of the Watford Gap,
You can do the Romford Rap!
[CHORUS]
Now the next Call's called a Runner Bean,
Another is an Ivor Novello.
A Runner Bean? Well that's the green,
And an Ivor? That's the yella.
There's an Eiderdown, and a Superglue,
Then you got the Kitchen Sink.
The name of the black, is the Chimney Stack,
And that's the lot I think.
That's sound to do the Romford Rap,
Now you've all been clued in.
We'll leave the rest to work out yourself,
Alright, let's begin!
Now pick yourself a nice Asian Flu,
"You can Hareword the Wake!"
Hit that Rubber straight down the Cain,
"For Terry that's a piece of cake!"
Now split up the bugles and if you're lucky mate...
"You might Sky a Newly Wed!"
Then see if you can't see your way to pot the Chimney...
"Try to Sink the Kitchen instead!"
Now now an' again you get an awkward one...
"And a Georgie is required!"
And try to Sky another Newly Wed
"Or any Bugle that's desired!"
If you're on form, you'll clear the Cain...
"For a maximum Hareword!"
And if you ever do it on the Auntie Nelly though,
That would now be good!
It's the Romford Rap, the Romford Rap, open up your trap and give me some that...
Whether you're a Paddy or a Taffy or a Jock or a Jap,
Whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black.
From Brixton, Bow or north of the Watford Gap,
You can do the Romford Rap!
Whether you're a Paddy or a Taffy or a Jock or a Jap,
Whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black.
From Brixton, Bow or north of the Watford Gap,
You can do the Romford Rap!
