Anything Goes

Times have changed And we've often rewound the clock Since the Puritans got the shock When they landed on Plymouth Rock If today Any shock they should try to stem 'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock Plymouth Rock would land on them In olden days, a glimpse of stocking Was looked on as something shocking But now, God knows Anything goes Good authors, too, who once knew better words Now only use four-letter words Writing prose Anything goes If driving fast cars you like If low bars you like If old hymns you like If bare limbs you like If Mae West you like Or me undressed you like Why, nobody will oppose When every night the set that's smart is Intruding at nudist parties in studios Anything goes When the Missus Ned McLean (God bless her) Can get Russian reds to "yes" her Then I suppose Anything goes When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon Produce his shows Anything goes The world has gone mad today And good's bad today And black's white today And day's night today And that gent today You gave a cent today Once had several chateaux When folks who still can ride in jitneys Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys Lack baby clothes Anything goes When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction Instruct Anna Sten in diction Then Anna shows Anything goes When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up Now does a handspring landing up on her toes Anything goes Just think of those shocks you've got And those knocks you've got And those blues you've got From those news you've got And those pains you've got If any brains you've got From those little radios So Missus R., With all her trimmin's Can broadcast a bed from Simmons 'Cause Franklin knows Anything goes