I'm sick, but I already told you that once
That blood you saw last time wasn't fake, it's real, I do my own stunts
That gun had bullets, I just got lucky, I play Russian roulette for fun
That knife was trash, I got it replaced, it didn't cut deep, it was too blunt
That girl's still here, she's sucking my dick, I might've been wrong, she may be the one
We're not in love, but in 2021 I'm going to let her have my son
So we can post and fake happy while our real lives come undone
And stay home and watch re-runs, but I don't want your sympathy
f******ur help
Everyone's an expert on everyone else except their fucking selves
Last time that I made a song I left a lot of shit on that shelf
'Cause I know you're too weak to hear the truth or care about how I felt
And oh, hi comment section
Did you know your words describe you and not me and bounce back
'Cause in life we project our insecurities on people we wish we could be
While blinded by the fact that we're our own biggest worst enemies
Yeah
You don't know me, you knew me
You thought Joker was a joke
That shit's my life, this ain't no movie
You torment me and abuse me
Haunt me, chase me, and amuse me
I'm at war inside my mind my opps are black, they hide at night
Like I'm playing Call Of Duty
I'm depressed, but, cancel culture causes me to say that loosely
Why do you judge if you're not Judy?
You're not my friend, you're dead to me
After what you've done, I feel like Uzi
I'm done dealing with these groupies
When they see me they see food, I feel like sushi
Oh, it's funny right 'cause it's not happening to you
I wear a size 13 men's
There's no damn way you could walk in my shoes
Take this pain and do what I do
While making songs that people use
To get through shit I can't get through
While they laugh, hate, destroy, and constantly ridicule
You guys are pitiful
You take my words, and you twist them, that's why I don't want to do interviews
I told my mom I was suicidal, and she cried and then screamed
"What the hell has got into you?"
I don't know, mom
Maybe those people who laugh, hate, spin the truth
And pray you fail, and once you do
Ha ha ha ha ha
They start kicking you
Fuck
They tried to put me in a hospital bed
Diagnose me and stuff me with meds
All it ever did was fuck up my head
They anti-depress you until you're depressed again
And then you depend on the pills that made you independent
What a shame (what a shame)
I'm stuck in a cycle
I'm the hero, villain, traitor, and somebody else's idol
I make songs about my broken heart and about the Bible
If you feel depressed or wanna kill yourself, I'm not liable
Let me clarify and get this straight
I make songs that no one else can make
That millions love 'cause they relate
Then get half the recognition but twice the hate
Then reinvest and do it all again
At a quicker speed than anyone driving in my lane
Then I smile and wave, work and slave
Talk to my fans every day
While you troll and only take breaks to take a shit or masturbate
Then claim my life's a piece of cake
Like you could somehow do it, even though we know you wouldn't
'Cause you're too goddamn afraid
Don't even join my circus this time, I'm not in the mood
Go listen to that mainstream music or whatever your friends think is cool
I'll sit here and play the fool, while you drool
And drown inside my tears that fill
Olympic pools even Michael Phelps couldn't endure
Furthermore
I'm tired of drinking and waking up on that floor
Tired of living a life I cannot afford
Tired of living my life for people who never saw me as equal who hate me and just try to ignore
No more, it's war
I'm evening this score
Killing everyone that walks through that door
And tells me I need wings to soar
So let me take that knife and gun and stop pointing them at myself
I've hurt enough, it's time for you to feel it along with everyone else
Society needs sobriety
We put people down for notoriety
Love in public but destroy them privately
Adding creating anxiety
Then we want love and don't get it, oh, the irony
This was a poem I wrote in my diary
Fighting demons deep inside of me
I feel alone, yet I'm constantly fighting for privacy
Seeking truth while everyone I know lies to me
It's ironic 'cause the people who knew me the best didn't support me
Until I finally made it, now they wanna fake it and act like they love me
When I know they don't even like me
You ain't slick
I remember the day dude fucked my bitch
I remember rejection after rejection and going home wanting to slit my wrists
I remember that coach who said I wasn't shit then took my fucking scholarship
And all the kids who used to bully me just 'cause I didn't fit in
How does it feel?
When you see me now
They say if you're alone and fall it doesn't make a sound
What goes up must come down
Unless
You get a knife and cut a smile so you never frown
---
Joker Returns - Dax
