Memorial

I wish you had been at your memorial Seeing someone proposing on stage I couldn't get through my song for you When it came to saying your name I can still see the room at the hospital Pretty, painted tile I can still see your skin turning purple Milly of the Nile Can you hear me? Did you mean it? Did you plan it out? Or was it an accident? Time, time, up and down the blue screen It's dawn and I'm insane Love's just a word and not what the word means But I'll say it just the same Talking to an entity Made of endless night I dream in TV dialogue A world of shadow and light I know it don't work that way But maybe you'll come back some day I know it don't work like that But maybe you can take it back Now that there's no need to say a word Can I still make amends? But silence, the only kindness I heard Forgiveness, the only revenge Meeting all of the people I've heard of from your past Reading through all of your letters Looking for your love You told me that love Is when someone asks you "Please leave me alone" And you really do You looked into my eyes 'Til I was your mother and son I tried to look away But saw you in everyone I wish you had been at your memorial Seeing someone proposing on stage --- Memorial - Devendra Banhart