So Many Nights

So many nights I prayed That this would just stop, I woke out of my sleep from A sound of a popped lock My heart would drop to the ground Maybe the fact that my pops wasn't around Forced you to found these guys That would just knock you down Or beat you around. I don't know. My innocence was lost back then, Not to be found. And in a sense it's like this world Was just weighing me down, Leaning it's weight hard on my shoulders, Making my heart less warm and much more colder, A chip off my tooth and a chip on my shoulder. I told y'all that I don't play, I've seen that drama every goddamned day. So go ahead, yap away, 'cause now you got a lot to say. Cast your judgements, Cast all your stones. Holding my hand, holding on To everything I have 'cause it's slipping away so fast. I was like six then, We ain't have a pot to piss in, While most kids lives consist of shine And glisten, Mine was lined with mischief. A boy flipping, devoid of times You find joy in reminiscing. It's like time was missing, Years was passing, I was inside while kids Was outside laughing. No time for games, Their fake toy planes was crashing While me? My life was crashing. At night fist fights left My mom's face smashed in, Her ass blasted, Threw her down a flight of stairs, Alone and scared I stared At eyes of a man who didn't care, My father was never there. Now I am prepared for this lifetime that's unfair. This life I fight from the bottom to the top. This life I had to fight for all that I got. It hurts but I still won't stop till my casket drops.