I Want to Be Evil

I've posed for pictures with Iv'ry Soap I've petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender I've been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer And I'm the person to whom they say, "You're sweet, my dear" The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass And the closest I've been to a bar was at ballet class Prim and proper, the girl who's never been kissed I'm tired of being pure and not chased Like something that seeks it's level I wanna go to the devil I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks I wanna be evil and cheat at jacks I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies I wanna be mean and throw mud pies I want to wake up in the morning With that dark brown taste I wanna see some dissipation in my face I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad But more than that, I wanna be bad I wanna be evil and trump an ace Just to see my partner's face I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool And in the theatre, I want to change my seat Just so I can step on everybody's feet I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze And whatever I've got, I am eager to lose I wanna be evil, little evil me Just as mean and evil as I can be