Ho! Ho! Ho! (Who'd Be A Turkey At Christmas)

Sitting here on Christmas Eve with a brandy in my hand Oh I've had a few too many and it's getting hard to stand I keep hearing noises from my fireplace I must be going crazy or the brandy's won the race And I keep hearing ho ho ho, guess who's here Your fat and jolly friend draws near Ho ho ho, surprise, surprise The bearded weirdie's just arrived Ho ho ho, guess who's here Your fat and jolly friend draws near Ho ho ho, surprise surprise The bearded weirdie's just arrived On my roof there's snorting sounds, and bells inside my head My vision's blurred with color, and all he sees is red There's a pair of large sized wellies coming down my flue And the smell of burning rubber, oh is filling up the room