The Siege of Dunkeld (In Hoots We Trust)

Regis Dundoniensis Furor Apocalyptus Magus Calamitosus Bellis Intergalactus Ancient cosmic wormhole Chaos lord arise I have arrived from the future Into a terrible past Chaos and war on the plains of Dunkeld The armies of darkness amassed Is this a twisted dimension? Is this true reality? A symbol of evil is flying once more Above the proud spires of Dundee A burning black sun The siege of Dunkeld has begun Defeat of the ancient town is nigh In Hoots We Trust Horrifying fecal demons Rising up out of the caverns below Dark robotic astral zombies Eating the peasants who live in Glasgow Siege engines of hell's creation Blasting the walls with unholy fire Undead forces marching onward Army of evil so tragic and dire Look up to the sky A glorious battlecry The forces of justice call his name In Hoots We Trust By the power of the Holy King of Unst For the Glory of Dundee To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free Confutatis Maledictis Caledoniae In Hoots We Trust Zargothrax! I am the Bane of Cowdenbeath The Scourge of Auchtermuchty Arch-Foe of the Questlords of Inverness Come face me in battle, Angus And prepare to meet thy doom! Your dark dominion has corrupted Dundee With a swing of my hammer I'll end this misery Legendary battle Epic war is fight What mystic enchantment has Zargothrax spun? My weapon has no effect this fight can't be won Pathetic mortal scum! In this dimension, your hammer has no power over me Now, kneel before your Emperor Kneel before...YOUR GOD! The wormhole had transported Angus and Zargothrax to an alternate dimension! And somehow, Zargothrax had materialized at an earlier point in time, letting him conquer the entire Kingdom of Fife with nothing to stand in his way. With his Hammer of Glory unable to channel the powers of this universe, Angus could not defeat the evil wizard in combat, and was forced to retreat from the battle. Even with their mysterious battle-prayers to The Hootsman, the resistance armies had no chance. From a hiding place in the hills above Dunkeld, he watched in horror as Zargothrax's army slaughtered the inhabitants of the city, the final holdout against the forces of evil. Angus could not believe his eyes when he realized who was commanding the armies of chaos...it was none other than Ser Proletius, the Grand Master of the Templar Knights of Crail! What terrible enchantment had led the alternate-universe version of this noble warrior to fight on the side of Zargothrax?!