How to Write a Song

How to write a song How to write a song How to write a song How to write a song If you write it on guitar Place your guitar upon your knee If you write it on piano Don't do that Place your fingers on the Strings of your guitar Not your piano If you write it on piano, don't do that Now strum or press together Feeling, this might take a little time Now think of something sad or something funny Which inevitably brings us to the rhyme Let's assume you're just an asshole And there's nothing in your pain It might help if you remember These helpful little hints Don't try to rhyme (sumba?) with anything That goes for homage as well But notice how cleverly I just used them both And all I have to do Is rhyme well You've got to be tricky Because to avoid these words takes talent So never ever trap yourself Like that, or you'll end up saying words like Oh, balent or falent Or dalent or Oh, I'm sure you'll catch on fast Now some tips on tempo And some subjects to avoid Like the use of the word bandit Unless you really have to say it And that's for 'tempo' And if you say 'time' That's strictly up to you Because that depends on how you play it Now let's do (it) once Now think of a rhyme Now that's it, you're doing fine Think of the good time We just had together If you practice these instructions On the board of some new sale If you listen very carefully I'm sure you'll shout it there I said shout Shout it Why, heheh, That rhymes with talent That takes talent That is talent Oh my God, oh Shout it rhymes with talent That takes talent That is talent Oh I cannot stand it Woah --- How to Write a Song - Harry Nilsson