Goodbye Earl

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends All through their high school days Both members of the 4H club, both active in the FFA After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin' for a bright new world Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl It wasn't two weeks after she got married that Wanda started gettin' abused She'd put on dark glasses or long sleeved blouses Or make-up to cover a bruise Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce And she let the law take it from there But Earl walked right through that restraining order And put her in intensive care Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta On a red eye midnight flight She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan And it didn't take 'em long to decide That Earl had to die, goodbye Earl Those black-eyed peas, they tasted alright to me, Earl You're feelin' weak? Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl Ain't it dark wrapped up in that tarp, Earl The cops came by to bring Earl in They searched the house high and low Then they tipped their hats and said, thank you ladies If you hear from him let us know Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer And summer faded into fall And it turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand Out on highway 109 They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam And they don't lose any sleep at night, 'cause Earl had to die, goodbye Earl We need a break, let's go out to the lake, Earl We'll pack a lunch, and stuff you in the trunk, Earl Is that alright? Good! Let's go for a ride, Earl