Painting Pictures of a Never Ending Mess

I was a gold at the rainbow type of person And now I realize what it feels like to truly be asleep If I could change anything in my head I'd add flowers and more of childhood Because nothing went right until I realized it was all in my head I go for a walk and think about it all And how I wish I'd stayed at home I'm painting pictures of a never ending mess But if I could change anything I'd change the world and put myself in another one Because when I'm lying in a field staring at the sky or stars I want to cry and sleep and die all at the same time And then be reborn with all I've ever wanted Staring at the candles in the bathroom while it's raining outside Whenever someone sees me they have nothing to say