I don’t wanna feel better
No one’s ever gonna love me like that again
I don’t wanna get over you
I wanna sit with you in bed
I don’t wanna feel better
I’d give anything to miss you again
I don’t wanna get over it
I wanna get under it instead
A book sits on top of clean and messy blankets
On a bed that fucking creaks at night when I get in it late
And late at night I’m chugging gatorade
And someone’s breaking up
And I crack up because I know I’ll never know just what to say
I’m a communist a terrorist a MPDG thot
Or I’m a sad girl in a dorm room
Living out the shitty christian plot of
Twilight or the Bible or the Lover by Duras
Or I’m just really fucking selfish and really fucking lost
But someone loved me
Someone fucking loved me
Someone fucking loved me and I fucking loved them too
God dammit I was worth something
I fucking learned something
I had my cake
I ate it
It ate me too
And god no
I don’t wanna feel better
I don’t wanna feel better
I’d give anything to miss you again
I don’t wanna get over it
I wanna rip it to shreds
We kept our liquor in a suitcase underneath my bed
And we drank it to go out or to stay in or to feel sad
But in a hot way in
A way I’ll fucking never have again
The sun has begun to set
I’m a socialist Marxist libertarian slut
I am an awkward teenaged virgin
And I sorta kinda laugh a lot in bed
But other times I cry or don’t make noise at all
I’d give my life to have a room that feels that small
Someone loved me
Someone fucking loved me
Someone fucking loved me I loved them too
God dammit I was worth something
I fucking earned something
I had a right to die a right to live and a right to choose too
And god no
Of course I don't wanna feel better
Can you fucking imagine
No one's ever gonna love me like that again
I don't wanna get over it
I wanna rip the stars to shreds
I don't wanna feel better
I mean of course it hurt
Of course it fucking hurt
It hurt like nothing in the world sometimes
And I was super scared
And we were all a train wreck but also somehow making it
I think I might've died there twice
And I would do it all again
I'm a nihilist a soldier an OCD machine
Or I'm a healthy baby girl who traded
Sunshine for disease
But when my head hit my cheap pillow
I could tell I had a heart
And I wanna tear this fascist milky way apart
Because someone loved me
Someone fucking loved me
On my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew
God dammit I was worth something
I fucking learned something
And it felt better in my mouth than fresh warm food
I guess I loved you
I guess I really loved you
On my filthy life I love someone I barely knew
And now you're over there
And I'm way over here
What am I gonna do
