King Of Comedy

Make your money with a suit and tie Make your money with shrewd denial Make your money expert advice If you can wing it Make your money with a power ply Make your money with a buyout bribe Make it lie as long as you mean it I'm not king of comedy Grease the pig, give a squeeze (squeeze me) Make your money with exploitation Make it holy illumination Say a prayer at every station Don't forget to ask for mercy Make your money with a pretty face Make it easy with product placement Make it charged with controversy I'm straight, I'm queer, I'm bi I'm not king of comedy I'm not your magazine I'm not your television Make your money, make it rich Make it young and make it quick Make your money on the jukebox, baby It's pick up sticks Make your enemies, make your moves Make your critics fumble through Make it smart and make it schmooze Make it look easy I'm not king of comedy I'm not your magazine I'm not your television I'm not your movie screen I'm not commodity (all together now) I'm not commodity I'm not commodity I'm not commodity I'm not commodity I'm not commodity --- King Of Comedy - R.E.M.