There was me and my monkey
And with his dungarees and rollerblades
Smoking filter tips
Reclining in the passenger seat of my supercharged jet black Chevrolet
He had the soft top down
He liked the wind in his face
He said, "Son, you ever been to Vegas?" I said "No"
He said, "That's where we're gonna go, you need a change of pace"
And when we hit the strip with all the wedding chapels and the neon signs, he said
"I left my wallet in El Segundo" and proceeded to take two grand of mine
We made tracks to The Mandalay Bay hotel
Asked the bell boy if he'd take me and my monkey as well
He looked in the passenger seat of my car, oh, with a smile he said
"If your monkey's got that kind of money, sir, then we've got a monkey bed"
Me and monkey
With a dream and a gun
I'm hoping my monkey
Don't point that gun at anyone
Me and monkey
Like Butch and the Sundance Kid
Trying to understand
Why he did what he did
Why he did what he did
And at the elevator, I hit the 33rd floor
We had a room up top with a panoramic view, it's like nothing you've ever seen before
He went to sleep in the bidet and when he awoke
He ran his little monkey fingers through the Yellow Pages
Called up escort services and ordered some okie doke
Forty minutes later, there came a knock at the door
In walked this big, bad-ass baboon into my bedroom with three monkey whores
"Hi, my name is Sunshine
These are my girls
Lace my palm with silver, baby
Oh yeah, and they'll rock your world"
So I watched pay-per-view and polished my shoes and my gun
Was diggin' old Kurt Cobain sing 'bout lithium
There came and knocked at the door and in walked Sunshine
"What's up?"
"You better get your ass in here, boy, your monkey is having too much of a good time"
Me and my monkey
Drove in search of the sun
Me and my monkey
Don't point that gun at anyone
Me and my monkey
Like Billy the Kid
Trying to understand
Why he did what he did
Why he did what he did
Got tickets to see Sheena Easton
The monkey was high
Said it was a burning ambition to see her before he died
We left before encores
He couldn't sit still
Sheena was a blast, baby
But my monkey was ill
When I played black jack
Kept hittin' 23
Couldn't help but notice this Mexican just staring at me
Or was it my monkey
I couldn't be sure
It's not like you've never seen a monkey in rollerblades and dungarees before
Now don't test my patience 'cause we're not about to run
That's a bad-ass monkey, boy, and he's packing a gun
"My name is Rodriguez" he says with death in his eye
"I've been chasing you for a long time, amigos
And now your monkey is gonna die"
Me and my monkey
Drove in search of the sun
Me and my monkey
We don't wanna kill no Mexican
But we got ten itchy fingers
One thing to declare
When the monkey is high
You do not stare
You do not stare
You do not stare
Looks like we got ourselves a Mexican stand off here, boy
And I ain't about to run
Put your gun down, boy
How did I get mixed up with this fucking monkey anyhow?
---
Me And My Monkey - Robbie Williams
