Threw It On The Ground

I was walkin' through the city streets And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink "Run faster, jump higher" Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me I threw it on the ground You must think I'm a joke I ain't gonna be part of your system Man! Pump that garbage in another man's face I go to my favorite hot dog stand And the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here's one for free" I said, "Man! What I look like? A charity case?" I took it and threw it on the ground! I don't need your handouts! I'm an adult! Please! You can't buy me hot dog, man! At the farmer's market with my so called girlfriend She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad Man, this ain't my dad! This is a cell phone! I threw it on the ground! What, you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system My dad's not a phone! DUH! Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it? Happy birthday to the ground! I threw the rest of the cake, too! Welcome to the real word, jackass! So many things to throw on the ground Like this, and this, and that, and even this I'm an adult! Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph Ground! Nobody wants your autograph, phonies! Then the two phonies got up Turned out they had a taser And they tased me in the butt-hole Fell to the ground The phonies didn't let up Tasin' on my butthole over and over I was screamin' and squirmin' My butt-hole was on fire The moral of the story is You can't trust the system Man! --- Threw It On the Ground - The Lonely Island