Haha, oh my God
Listen, I think I can hear it
Mac Lethal is hypin' himself in the mirror
His wife tries to tell him that she's gettin' curious
He just yells, "Shut the fuck up, bitch, this Tom guy is serious"
I hoped you would kill it, I'm always a optimist
Thought your response would be flawless and awesome, it's
Gotta be hard finding time to perfect all your rhymes
Every night at Narcotics Anonymous
Hi Dave, hi Dave, hi Dave!
I'm not even trying
You don't scare me at all
If you did a drive-by, I'd wave!
It's so cute when you rap
It's like I'm watching my dad
Tryna use an iPad
You should just give it back
You've been sober like eight years
You the type of guy who can't have a beer
Have a single drink and need to get some coke
And probably suck a dick for a painkiller
You party animal, you bad boy
You're a crazy son of a gun
All that karate and still you're a p***y?
You tap on my shoulder and run?
Where are you going? I'm over here
In a house that you can't afford with your career
Got your own pool? Kids in private school?
You the fuckin' mother of the year
You keep talking millions, I Googled your wealth
You are worth two, Dave, I am worth twelve
You're tweeting at YouTube, "Somebody help
With my monetized videos!" Dave that's a tell
Broke and ugly, short and stubby, forty somethin'
With a face that was born for punchin'
Act tough, but I know at your core it's muffins
The type to wife up the first whore who fucked him
Big bad Dave got that Ellen co-sign, cool
Tried to ride that wave to the Hollywood sign, fool
You were so excited just to get invited
Teeth professionally whitened couldn't cheese enough
You said, "I love rap because it's counter-culture!"
Dave, counter-culture is who beats you up
My future has Grammies
Your future is handies from Tammy
Imagining baddies in nasty pajammies
And transplanting hair to your head from your fanny
I saw you doing teeth commercials
You a actor, Dave, I don't need rehearsals
I'll piss in your mouth 'til you wheeze and gurgle
And stomp on your head 'til your cheeks are purple
I was a wrestler, I wore spandex
You were a customer, you did Xanax
I'll take you and your bitch by the ear
And then smash you together like Stone Cold's beer
Being a fucking loser's in your DNA
This ain't a punchline, it's a PSA
The chromosomes from your ma and pa
Create retards and they name 'em Dave
Nobody's safe, tell your wifey to chain up her legs
Remove all her eggs
Put 'em in bags and then lock them away in a safe
And send it away on a plane
I'm lucky that I know CPR
My girl heard your diss and she died laughin'
She was bummed, we waited like a week
And then she went right back into Minecraftin'
My girl was on Def Jam
Your girl look like Death, fam
She the Grim Reaper, knew I'd spit ether
She collecting the soul of a dead dad
They're gonna need a whole family of coffins
When you Chris Benoit 'em to solve all your problems
The shame and embarrassment, all of the comments
From fans you had, I saw it, you lost 'em
Ain't dropped a album in four years
Dawg, rapping is your hobby
My career, less than a year
Twenty-thousand physical copies
I have millions of streams, I'm living your dream
You're a glorified YouTuber, look like a meme
Go to stupid extremes, definition of tryhard
"Watch me rap after eating a Tide POD"
Dying for attention
That's why you started this little beef
You're so desperate, expect that right after this ends
Your s*x tape probably leak
You've been on Ellen and Rogan, why aren't you a star?
Here, let me tell you, it isn't the bars
It's the way that you look, it's the way that you are
Nobody cares about your music no more
Dawg, you do impressions
You rap in twenty styles and you think it's flexing
I got a question, why you gotta pretend
To be everyone else to resemble impressive?
I killed you already, this don't need a sequel
I'm honestly bored with this shit
Feels like I'm kicking a corpse with shoes you can't afford
Feel horrible doing you like this
How many rappers wrote your response?
Come on, Dave, give 'em credit
I know you sent texts, I saw with my eyes
I know what you said, Dave, I read it
You a real piece of shit
Nah, like a real piece of shit
Like if a piece of shit ate a piece of shit
Took a pee and shit, you're that piece of shit
I'm on like five minutes, shit, lemme see
You were canceled and fired from MTV
The network wanted something fresh and clean
I bet any day they'll be calling me
You left Rhymesayers 'cause you had to
You didn't walk away, it wasn't something you planned, dude
Got lost in the drugs and the whirlwind
Caught pants down with another man's girlfriend
Piece of shit
Nah, like a real piece of shit
Like if a piece of shit fucked a piece of shit
And got an STD, you're that piece of shit
You got a pet bird, bet you never thought you'd be dead first
I'ma put you both in the oven when you get burned
I'ma put you both in a pet urn
Piss into the bottle, mix it up, and turn the ash into plaster
Give it to your bitch
Tell her "Make statues of me just to capture my win"
My girl would just spit in her face and we'll dip
Get a hammer and come back and smash it to bits
Put a plaque in its place so that no one forgets
That your biggest mistake was as good as it gets
For a guy whose career doesn't even exist
It's the peak of the mountain for you, this is it
Your aesthetic is pathetic, you don't get it, I'm prophetic
Your rap ethics are boring, fuck it, Guinness World Record
Be careful where you are headed, I'm cemented as a legend
David Sheldon's severed head is destined to be the evidence
Every room that you ever enter, I will always be the elephant
While you try to fit this capital L into development
You deader than Lennon, I sent a letter to Heaven
That explodes when it opens, I hope it gets your attention
I can smell it, you sweatin', and it's 11:11
I make a wish that, when you die, you come back resurrected
So I can kill you again and again and again, for the record
If you're feeling kind of froggy and you jump you get dissected
Oh dear, I can't believe that I had to set this shit straight, man
Old ears, I hope you hear exactly what I say, man
I'm here, you said you didn't even know my name, dawg
So here, I'll say it so you don't forget again
It's Tom MacDonald, bitch
---
Mac Lethal Sucks - Tom MacDonald
