Talkin' Karate Blues

Well, I ain't very big for twentyone And it seems I never could have any good clean fun Cause every time I'd go outside some great big bully'd come along He'd hit me in the face and he'd knock to the ground And he'd start kickin' me all around And that ain't exactly fair, friends, that's wrong So I got me a paper the other night And I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light And flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads Said, "take karate from Lee Hung Chow Man, make your first appointment now This course is guaranteed to make you bad" Well, the next day I drove to the address By japanese design I was really impressed It looked like a regular house of the rising sun I walked inside, I was all alone I had a nervous feeling down in my bones I was kind of sorry I'd ever even come Then a giant jap came through the door He must have been about seven foot four And he looked like he's prone to easy aggrevation He said, "Lee Hung Chow, Ah kee dung" That's japanese for fee fie foo fum I tried to explain my entire situation He said, "Number one course, yankee, self defence Twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents" I said "What's the twentyfive cents for?" And he said, "Repairs" I said, "Repairs to what?", And he said "To you" And I thought to myself "Man, that won't do" Felt about a half inch tall under that ol' slender stare Ah, you think he was yellow I said, "I believe I better go check another place" He said, "Ha so, Yankee don't like my race" I said, "Now, there's a mistake, man, and that's true I've been for you you japanese all along You japanese just can't do no wrong And I thought you got mighty dirty deal in World War II" Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave I figured there's a pretty good time to leave Before he had a chance to do me any definite harm But my plan worked out in the end, you see Now no bully is gonna pick on me Who's gonna hit a fellow with just one arm? --- Talkin' Karate Blues - Townes Van Zandt