The Derby Ram

As I was going to Derby all on a market day, I met the biggest ram, my boys, that ever was fed on hay. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. He had four feet to walk upon, he had four feet to stand, And every foot that he sat down, it covered an acre of land. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. The horns that grew on this ram's head, they grew so very long, And every time he shook his head they rattled against the sun. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. The wool on this ram's back, my boys, it grew so very high, The eagles came and built their nests and I heard the young 'uns cry. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. The man that fed this ram, my lads, he fed him twice a day, And every time he opened his mouth, he swallowed a rick of hay. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. This ram he had two horns, my lads, that reached up to the moon, A little boy went up in January and he didn't get back till June. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. Now this old ram, he had a tail that reached right down to hell, And every time he waggled it he rung the old church bell. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. The butcher that stuck this ram, my lads, was up to knees in blood, And the little boy who held the bowl was carried away by the flood. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. Now all the men in Derby came a-begging for his eyes, To pound up and down the Derby streets for they were of a football's size. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. Took all the boys in Derby to carry away his bones, Took all the girls in Derby to roll away his that's a lie. And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. Now the man that fattened this ram, my boys, he must have been very rich, And the man who sung this song must be a lying son of a And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie, And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I. So now my song is ended, I've nothing more to say, But give us another pint of beer and we'll all of us go away. --- The Derby Ram - A.L. Lloyd