Two Jeffs

Two Jeffs Jeff is a nice name I know lots of Jeffs Some spell it with a G and an E and an O Others just J-E-F-F Most of the Jeffs in this world are good people But not all of them This is a tale of two Jeffs And it has a sad ending Jeff #1 started a company To sell everything to everyone ever Jeff #2 met the love of his life at Wendy's Where they were flipping burgers together Jeff #1 noticed that everyone preferred buying stuff While on the couch in their underpants Jeff #2 had three kids to take care of And one day he saw an advertisement by chance Whether you're remembered or forgotten by history You need to decide what kind of Jeff you want to be Jeff #1 was hiring part-time grunts To run up and down warehouse aisles Jeff #2 said any job will do Put on an employable shirt and a hireable smile Jeff #1 figured workplace efficiency With a secret system of algorithms Jeff #2 took every shift that he could Though his passion was souping up car stereo systems Jeff #1, just call him Evil Jeff I think it's obvious by now he's the villain And Jeff # 2, he can be Virtuous Jeff He could only get hired as a seasonal fill-in Now some say Evil Jeff wasn't evil at all What's wrong with making a bazillion dollars Try telling that to people like Virtuous Jeff Working and watching their own dollars get smaller Whether you're remembered or forgotten by history You need to decide what kind of Jeff you want to be Evil Jeff invented robot spies And convinced everybody to buy one But Virtuous Jeff had neither time nor the money And he didn't want to own his own Dalek or Cylon Evil Jeff said these humans are working too slowly! So he increased their hourly targets He told Virtuous Jeff, son, you just have to work harder He was selling his sweat, it was a buyer's market One night when the warehouse was particularly busy Virtuous Jeff collapsed in the middle of the floor His fellow workers tried to help the best that they could But he was dead before the paramedics got to the door And nothing ever happened to Evil Jeff, He just keeps playing the role of the villain But one day there will be one too many Virtuous Jeffs And they will rise up together and kill him Whether you're remembered or forgotten by history You need to decide what kind of Jeff you want to be Whether we're remembered or forgotten by history We need to decide what kind of Jeff we want to be --- Two Jeffs - Ariel Sharratt and Mathias Kom