Right Said Fred

"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together One each end and steady as we go" Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it We was getting nowhere And so we had a cuppa tea and "Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie" Up comes Charlie from the floor below After strainin', heavin' and complainin' We was getting nowhere And so we had a cuppa tea And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles And the things wot held the candles But it did no good, well I never thought it would "All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo" Took its feet off, even took the seat off Should have got us somewhere but no! So Fred said, "Let's have another cuppa tea" And we said, "right-o" "Right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off Need more space to shift the so-and-so" Had bad twinges taking off the hinges And it got us nowhere And so we had a cuppa tea and "Right," said Fred, "Have to take the wall down That there wall is gonna have to go" Took the wall down, even with it all down We was getting nowhere And so we had a cuppa tea And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred I got a sort of feelin' If we remove the ceiling With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through" "All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder With his crowbar gave a mighty blow Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea And then we went home (I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it Standing on the landing, that's all You see the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty You'll never get nowhere if you're too hasty") --- Right Said Fred - Bernard Cribbins