The Twelve Pains of Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Five months of bills Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Facing my in-laws Five months of bills "I hate those Christmas cards!" Hangovers Rigging up these lights And finding a Christmas tree The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Salvation Army Facing my in-laws Five months of bills Sending Christmas cards "Aw geez" "I'm trying to rig up these lights!" And finding a Christmas tree The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me "I want ant farmer for Christmas" "Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?" Five months of bills "Ah, mailing out these cards!" "Edith, get me a beer, huh!" "What, we have no extension chord?!?" And finding a Christmas tree The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Finding parking spaces "Daddy, I want some candy!" "Donations!" Facing my in-laws Five months of bills "Writing up those Christmas cards" Hangovers "Now why the hell are they blinking?" And finding a Christmas tree The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Batteries not included No parking spaces "Buy me something!" "Get a job ya bum!" Facing the inlaws Five months of bills "Yo ho, sending Christmas cards" "Ah geez, look at this!" "One light goes out, they all go out!" And finding a Christmas tree The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Stale TV specials Batteries not included No parking spaces "I gotta go to the bathroom" Charities "She's a witch, I hate her!" Five months of bills "Oh, I don't even know half these people!" "Who's got the toilet paper?" "Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!" And finding a Christmas tree The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Singing Christmas Carols Stale TV specials Batteries not included No parking "Waaah!" Charities Gotta make 'em dinner Five months of bills "I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!" "Shut up, you!" "Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!" And finding a Christmas tree --- The Twelve Pains of Christmas - Bob Rivers