True Story

This mornin' I jumped on my horse and went out for a ride Some wild outlaws chased me and they shot me in the side So I crawled into a wild cat's cave to find a place to hide But some pirates found me a sleepin' there and soon they had me tied Till a lady zombie cut me loose and begged to be my bride So I said I'd come back Wednesday but I must admit I lied Cause I run away into the swamp but I forgot my guide And I stepped into some quicksand and no matter how I tried I couldn't get out until I met a crocodile named Clyde Who took me to some cannibals who planned to have me fried They built a fire under me and I swear I almost cried Till an eagle come and swooped me up and through the air we flied But he dropped me in a boilin' lake a thousand miles wide And you know what happened then I died --- True Story - Bobby Bare