My Life In The Knife Trade

How many times Have you noticed that our eyes Hardly ever meet From your judgment seat I feel the anger for my very being Fill me in On when you became such a big part of my life That I should bother With all your lies designed to bring me down Wrong again Don't depend On any reaction again I remember the icy walls That shot up from nowhere And I can see every lie that you've ever told yourself You bleed me dry and I don't ask why But I'm left with the dust Judas kiss I dismiss Thank you all for this I am untouched Wait again I'm not through with the screaming I contend That you've got nothing better to do Trade my life for a barrel of gold Find someone else before I get too old If I live my life for aesthetic gain Will you repay me with all your shame I can see every light inside your brain Go on every time that I walk by For nods and whispers Your comfort in my suffering Is no longer disturbing I'm lost beyond your petty stopwatch In life's real time Wait again I'm not through with the screaming I contend That you've got nothing better to do Trade my life for a barrel of gold Find someone else before I get too old If I live my life for aesthetic gain Will you repay me with all your shame Don't get up I was slowly leaving the room And when the door Of your judgment Swings back around again Maybe I'll stop to watch And I'll go on my way I've seen quite enough Of too many childish games I'm ashamed of every moment That I ever gave them the time of day All the worst of enemies Are somehow always Friends that used to be