I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're a mean, mean man
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Alright, listen, I need you to focus
I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bare with me for a moment
Now I need you to open your mind, your eyes, close 'em
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes
We are going to explore into your mind
To find out why you're so fuckin' jealous
Now why do they make yoo-hoo?
Pippity-kaka-poo-poo
Psych, I'm kiddin', I just wanted to see if you're still listenin'
Okay, now I need your undivided attention
Sir, I have a question
Why do I always sense this
Undeniable tension from the moment that I enter into the room?
It gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever there's conversations, why am I always mentioned?
I've been dyin' to ask, it's been itchin' at me
Is it just because
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Alright, now I (shit), I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
Psych, I'm kiddin' again you idiot, no I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me
Is that I fucked up ain't it?
But I could bust one take without lookin' at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes or me to stand here in this booth all day
For me to say the truth, okay?
You're drooling, you have tooth decay
You're mouth is open, you're disgusting
What the f******u eat for lunch
A bunch of sweets or somethin'
What you munch a bunch of Crunch 'n Munch?
You're tooth is rottin' to the gum
Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
"Yes, I do, sir, what am I on?"
You, sir, are on truth serum
"Marshall, I'm so jealous of you, please say you won't tell nobody
I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out
Why I'm sayin' all these terrible, evil, and awful
Mean things, it's my own insecurities"
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Alright, now we, we're going to conduct
That experiment that we were talkin' about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when he takes two hits of ecstasy
'Cause that's exactly what your eyes look like
Wanna check to see? Here's a mirror
Notice the resemblance here?
Wait, let me put these sunglasses on, now look in this mirror
How 'bout now? What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like, singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth
This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lyin' in the corner of a room somewhere cryin'
Curled up in a ball, tweaked out of my mind, dyin'
There's no denyin' that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like stickin' a banana between two oranges
Why are you even doin' this to yourself? It's pointless
Why do we have to keep on goin' through this? This is torturous
My point is this, that if you say mean things, you weenie will shrink
Now I forgot what the chorus is, you're just a
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Fuck off my dick
