My Dad's Gone Crazy

"Hello, boys and girls Today, we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships Do you have a daddy? I'll bet you do Who's your daddy?" "Daddy, what are you doing?" Haha, okay then Everybody, listen up I'm goin' to hell Who's comin' with me? Somebody, please help him I think my dad's gone crazy There's no mountain I can't climb, there's no tower too high No plane that I can't learn how to fly What do I gotta do to get through to you To show you there ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to? Fuckin' brains, brawn and brass balls, I cut 'em off Then got 'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar inside of a hall With my framed autographed sunglasses With Elton John's name on my drag wall I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off All this time, me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off (suck it, Marshall) So tell Laura and her husband to back off Before I push this motherfuckin' button and blast off And launch one at these Russians and that's all Blow every fuckin' thing except Afghanistan on the map off When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off? Hailie, tell 'em, baby My dad's lost it There's really nothin' else to say, I, I can't explain it I think my dad's gone crazy A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em, baby? I think my dad's gone crazy There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me I think my dad's gone crazy There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie I think my dad's gone crazy It's like my mother always told me "Rani-rani-rani-rani-rani-rani-rani-rani-rani and codeine And God damn it, you little motherfucker If you ain't got nothin' nice to say, then don't say nothin'" Uh, fuck that shit, bitch, eat a motherfuckin' dick Chew on a prick and lick A million mutherfuckin' cocks per second I'd rather put out a motherfuckin' Gospel record I'd rather be a p***y-whipped bitch, eat p***y And have p***y lips glued to my face With a clit ring in my nose, than quit bringin' my flows Quit givin' me my ammo, can't you see why I'm so mean? If y'all leave me alone, this wouldn't be my M.O. I wouldn't have to go, eenee-meenee-meini-mo Catch a homo by his toe, man, I don't know no more Am I the only fuckin' one who's normal any more? Dad There's really nothin' else to say, I, I can't explain it I think my dad's gone crazy A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em, baby I think my dad's gone crazy There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me I think my dad's gone crazy There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie I think my dad's gone crazy My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise at the same time Can make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme See what you're seein' is a genius at work, which to me isn't work So it's easy to misinterpret it at first 'Cause when I speak, it's tongue-in-cheek I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue I'd slice my gums, get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once And die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son And walk around the rest of my life spit on And kicked and hit with shit every time I sung Like R. Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes on More pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girl Inside of a plane aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave Screamin' at the sky, 'til clouds gather, it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade And that's pretty much the gist of it Parents are pissed, but the kids love it Nine millimeter heater stashed in two-seaters with meat cleavers I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither There's really nothin' else to say, I, I can't explain it I think my dad's gone crazy A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em, baby I think my dad's gone crazy There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me I think my dad's gone crazy There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie I think my dad's gone crazy Crazy Hahaha, you're funny daddy