Joe's Garage

Central scrutinizer: We take you now to a garage in canoga park (it makes its own sauce... if you add water) It wasn't very large There was just enough room to cram the drums In the corner over by the dodge It was a fifty-four With a mashed up door And a cheesy little amp With a sign on the front said "fender champ" And a second-hand guitar It was a stratocaster with a whammy bar We could jam in joe's garage His mama was screamin' His dad was mad We was playin' the same old song In the afternoon 'n sometimes we would Play it all night long It was all we knew, 'n easy too So we wouldn't get it wrong All we did was bend the string like . . . Hey! Down in joe's garage We didn't have no dope or lsd But a coupla quartsa beer Would fix it so the intonation Would not offend yer ear And the same old chords goin' over 'n over Became a symphony We could play it again 'n again 'n again 'Cause it sounded good to me One more time! We could jam in joe's garage His mama was screamin', "turn it down!" We was playin' the same old song In the afternoon 'n sometimes we would Play it all night long It was all we knew, 'n easy too So we wouldn't get it wrong Even if you played it on a saxophone We thought we was pretty good We talked about keepin' the band together 'n we figured that we should 'cause about this time we was gettin' the eye From the girls in the neighborhood They'd all come over 'n dance around like . . . So we picked out a stupid name Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks 'n we was on our way to fame Got matching suits 'n beattle boots 'n a sign on the back of the car 'n we was ready to work in a go-go bar One two three four Let's see if you've got some more! People seemed to like our song They got up 'n danced 'n made a lotta noise An' it wasn't 'fore very long A guy from a company we can't name Said we oughta take his pen 'n sign on the line for a real good time But he didn't tell us when These "good times" would be somethin' That was really happenin' So the band broke up An' it looks like We will never play again... Guess you only get one chance in life To play a song that goes like... Turn it down! Turn it down! I have children sleeping here . . . Don't you boys know any nice songs? Well the years was rollin' by Heavy metal 'n glitter rock Had caught the public eye Snotty boys with lipstick on Was really flyin' high 'n then they got that disco thing 'n new wave came along 'n all of a sudden I thought the time Had come for that old song We used to play in "joe's garage" And if I am not wrong You will soon be dancin' to the . . . Central scrutinizer: The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you gotta load or unload, go to the white zone... I said the years was rollin' by, yeah The years was rollin' by... I'm calling the police! So the years was rollin' by... I did it! So the years was rollin' by... They'll be here... shortly! By, by, the years was rollin' by... This is the police... I'm not joking around anymore! Come out! We have the garage surrounded The years was rollin' by... Give yourself up We will not harm you Or hurt you, neither I said the years was rollin' by . . . You'll see now! There they are, they're coming! This is the police Give yourself up We will not harm you The years was rollin' by . . . Listen to that mess, would you! This is the police Give yourself up We have the garage surrounded Every day this goes on around here! The years was rollin' by... We will not harm you Or maim you (swat team 4, move in!) The years was rollin' by . . . He used to cut my grass . . . He was a very nice boy . . . This is the police Come out with your hands up This is the central scrutinizer . . . That was joe's first confrontation with the law. Naturally, we were easy on him. One of our friendly counselors gave him A do-nut . . . and told him to Stick closer to church-oriented social activities. --- Joe's Garage - Frank Zappa