Our Sergeant Major

Now there's a sergeant major, enjoys life will he can. He proves to all the ladies he's a soldier and a man. He sticks out his chest, two pillows in his vest, A bolster under his rotunda, Our Sergeant Major. His medals break our hearts, he won them playing darts, And while competing, who was cheating? Our Sergeant Major He's far away the worst friend we've ever had, When he's far away well, we're mighty glad. In the canteen bar, you know what sergeants are, When we've passed out, who's the last out, Our Sergeant Major. He's got a raucous voice, his language isn't choice, In clink we'd shove him, how we'd love him, Our Sergeant Major. His weight about he'd throw, the wicked so and so, Who'd even smother his own mother, Our Sergeant Major. He's far away the worst friend we've ever had, When he's far away well, we're mighty glad. Our bugler goes his rounds, and when the bugle sounds. Forever lasting, who's he blasting? Our Sergeant Major. Now he makes raw recruits, just tremble in their boots, He calls them slackers, who's gone crackers? Our Sergeant Major. His feet fill up the road, knock-kneed and pigeon toed, We'd sooner shoot him then salute him, Our Sergeant Major. He's far away the worst friend we've ever had, When he's far away well, we're mighty glad. The mascot goat we own, so big and fat has grown, Wild and warlike, he's far more like, Our Sergeant Major. --- Our Sergeant Major - George Formby