The Golden Rule

I wouldn't be glad wouldn't be sad I wouldn't be good if I knew what I could And I hate to go But I must you know Duty calls Niagara falls See it go down As it falls on the ground And gets up again At the count of ten I would like everyone here to repeat after me Something of which I know nothing about Namely that which I will tell you (that which I will tell you) I'm going to school breaking a rule I'm going around in a pitiful frown Cause I didn't pass (came) Bottom of the class (oh! what a shame) Teacher was mad So was me dad Took off his belt And without any help Really hit me hard Where I'd stuck a card Thick I may be but a fool I am certainly not Always remember the golden rule When in no doubt get a car out And while you're there how about, Fetching me one of those pneumatic drills Boy! I really love the sound that they make So good for the pains and aches of life in general Don't be such a miser At the most a fiver's all you pay Many's the time I have wondered about what it is I want you all to repeat after me Something I know you know I know (Something I know you know I know) I wouldn't behold wouldn't be cold I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my Dear old mum and dad And the fun they had Early one night Dad put out the light Got hold of me mum Said he wanted a son And as you can see The result was me Somebody told me once money does not grow on trees Well if that's true then how do you explain Apples oranges and lemons Not forgetting melons --- The Golden Rule - Gilbert O'Sullivan