Let me tell you about the time I had to solve this case
When some crab motherfucker straight invaded my space
It was approximately 8:47 P.M.
I was on my way home comin' back from the gym
My muscles kinda ached, they felt rigid and stiff
But my mind was at ease from this Coltrane riff
Playin loud... out at Fulton and Truce
?Till a Jeep drowned it out with Xzibit and Snoop
As I get closer to the heezy baby
Certain parts of my body started actin' crazy
My ears got to twitchin' and my right hand shook
I had the sudden need to speed so I decided to book
As I arrived on the block to see a bunch of kids scopin' out my building
Noticin' the door wide open
As I jetted up the stairs past signs of forced entry
Expecting to see my humble abode stripped empty
Oh hell no!
(ah, ah, ah, ah,) X8
Ay yo, my trip from the front door to the second floor
Had me feelin' so alone, embarrassed and insecure
My worldly possessions that I cherished in pride
Flashed in a matter of seconds before my eyes
But not photographic, more like alphanumeric
You know, VCR, TV, laptop, C3
VS, MP, LP, CDs
RL, (?), N-I-K-E
Not to mention USA and RC3C
That opened up in D.C. for Run DMC(?)
This has gotta be a nightmare, somebody pinch me
When up the stairs I see my ten-speed GT
Right where I left it, rather bizarre
Still felt violated, my apartment door was ajar
As I stormed in, thinkin' it's about to be on
The window was wide open, but nothin' was gone
As I dashed to the edge I held my head past the ledge
I seen two hooded figures jumpin' over a fence
They was way beyond capture, so I took a step back
So I could figure this shit out 'cause it was getting intense
The computer was on, file cabinets wide open
Bookshelves was tipped over, they searched, but didn't steal
Wait a minute, the picture from my built-in safe
Was slightly tilted to the side, I was beginning to feel
The same tingling in my fingers and hands
Everything else in the house was there, so work with me one time
But my instincts failed me not
The safe was blown wide open
They stole my priceless book of rhymes!
Oh hell no!
(ah, ah, ah, ah)
Ah, shit I've been hit, Elizabeth this is the big one
Fuck it, these niggas got me pullin' out my big guns
So be it, so what if they got it? They can't have it
Dagnabit! The last thing I needed was static
But I got a briefcase for just such an occasion
So I grabbed it, jetted downstairs, hailed a cab
I knew this shit was gonna happen, I was gettin' too nice
From the briefcase I pulled out a homin' device
Three times better than lowjack, these MC's is so whack
That now they gotta resort to stealin' my text
As I fixed on their position for my intercept mission
The cabbie was feather-footed, it was getting me vexed
As we headed toward Jersey the signal got stronger
Even in the tunnel was right on they tail
A green Volkswagen had the nerve to blast ragged
A dead giveaway, now watch justice prevail
I told the cabbie get closer, but he had no heart
Next thing I know we was like five blocks apart
But they was headed for the airport, a getaway plan
Traffic was getting' thick, so I got out and ran
Followed the signal all the way to this drive in hanger
These niggas wanna... with a lear jet?
I drove a luggage cart up the runway to no avail
They pulled out just in time, but I'm not done yet
So watch this
You think you can get away clean?
I know every rhyme in that book
You got five seconds to turn that plane around!
It's like that?
Aight, then!
If I can't have it, no one can!
---
Great Live Caper - J-Live and J. Rawls
