Once upon a time, little girl on the grind
Met a boy, he was nice at the time
Weeks from the days, plans, they were made
Soon, you could call them an item
Funny how a title makes them think they own you
Tellin' you how to dress and who to talk to
Fella, please, don't nobody ask you
My great, great granny was born a slave
She found liberation before the grave
Who you tellin' how to behave?
Ooh, I'm trying to forgive, but can't forget
It was bad, it was bad (bad)
It was bad, it was bad (bad)
It was the crying that was bad (It was the crying that was)
It was the lying that was bad (It was the lying that was)
It was the blaming that was bad (It was the blaming that was)
The self-hating that was bad (The self-hating that was)
It was the waiting that was bad (It was the waiting that was)
It was the doubting that was bad (It was the doubting that was)
It was the screaming that was bad (It was the screaming that was)
The fear of leaving that was bad (The fear of leaving that was), uh
Uh, uh, yo
Once upon a time, I believed in lines
Like, "I just wasn't good enough for you" and other lies
Mr. "Didn't miss the water 'til the well was dry"
Tried and I tried, compromise, compromise
It was pouring into you while emptying me
It was rationalizing all your toxicity
It was hands around my neck with us on my back
It was pressure, pain, and panic attacks
Had me faded to the wire, putting out my fire
Use to have requirements that turned into desires
Expected to retire me while keeping you inspired
All the women in me are tired
Listen, nigga
My abuela ain't survive several trips around the sun
So I could give it to somebody's undeserving son
This p***y don't pop for you, booty don't bop for you
Never owe none, belong to no one
Now I only trust patterns, not apologies
First date questions, what's your ideologies?
Do you love yourself? Are you healing your trauma?
What's your concept of wealth? Do you check on yo' mama?
'Cause your loyalty ain't slavery, sis
That shit insulting to her bravery, sis
I know you tangled
But this life is no exchange for your laboring, sis
Withhold ya flavors, he unsavory, sis, sis
I-I-I remember saying no to things that happened anyway (things that happened)
I remember feeling low the mirror took my face away (mirror took my)
I couldn't recognize her, I laid and cried 'til my
Tears washed the kitchen tiles, I swear I couldn't budge
But then I talked about it told mama, sister, cuz
And told me they went through it and since it's in my blood
I knew I could do it 'cause if my blood went through it
I knew I could endure it, I knew that I could heal it
Oh, I'm trying to forgive, but can't forget
It was bad, it was bad (bad)
It was bad, it was bad (bad)
It was the crying that was bad (It was the crying that was)
It was the lying that was bad (It was the lying that was)
It was the blaming that was bad (It was the blaming that was)
The self-hating that was bad (The self-hating that was)
It was the waiting that was bad (It was the waiting that was)
It was the doubting that was bad (It was the doubting that was)
It was the screaming that was bad (It was the screaming that was)
The fear of leaving that was bad (The fear of leaving that was)
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SONIA - Jamila Woods and Nitty Scott
