The Beer

The beer I had for breakfast was a bottle of Mad Dog And my 20/20 vision was fifty percent off You said punch-buggy red and punched me right in my left eye I said don't you mean pediddle? and I lit his house on fire He came home on acid I was holding his shotgun I was dressed like Tina Turner in beyond thunder dome He said don't shoot, I said I won't I love you you're my friend I handed him my wig and shot myself in the head Then I stuffed a box of tissues in the hole in my skull I got in my Mazda and I drove to the mall I got a big Johnson shirt and some silicone tits When I pulled out the tissues they were covered with shit And the beer I had for breakfast was a box of cheap white wine And the boom box on my shoulder was a box of clementines I ate every single one without noticing the mold You said you're gross my darling, I said no I'm rock and roll Even though I'd never ever been in a band I got cool as black ice tattooed on my hand And the christians gave me comic books as if I would be scared Of burning in hell well I was already there And the beer I had for breakfast silver bullet in the brain And the beer I had for lunch was a bottle of night train And the beer I had for dinner was my crazy neighbor's pills We had to sit down on skateboards jut to make it down the hill Then I peed my pants and you stole the groom's cigar And some old man made me watch him masturbate locked in his car When I got back to the apartment you were face down on the floor You said don't go to bed yet let's go get a 64 And the beer I had had for breakfast was a pint of Jim Beam And a fifth of peach schnapps and some warm Sunny D And you said bottoms up just as I bottomed out I tried to scream f******u but blood was pouring out my mouth Evan Dando never planned on telling you the truth And your Leonardo ID card is your fountain of youth You can be a teenager for your whole fucking life Just find some pretty sucker and make that bitch your wife I guess by now you all know my friend Danny broke his neck He was driving home from Sirens when he got into a wreck First I cried for him and then I cried for me Haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be But the rocks with holes are warm in my hands And I buried my toes in the hot hot sand And the silver pink pony kisses me and says You've come a long, long way and you deserve to be really happy