Let me tell you about Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just drippin' off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hand
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And, every evenin', about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde, and ride
[Spoken] Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he
Would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils,
Swingingest grade "A" number one US choice dancer in
The sultan's whole harem, 'cause, heh, him and her had
A thing goin', you know, and they'd been carryin' on
For some time now behind the sultan's back and you
Could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the
Dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert
Air and he'd say (imitate Arabic speech and finish with "Sold! American)
Which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde!" and Clyde'd say, (imitate camel
Sound), which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"
Well, he brought that camel to a screechin' halt (verbal screeching sound)
In the rear of Fatima's tent
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner
And into the tent he went.
There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug
With
[Spoken in falsetto and possibly with female backups] "Rings on her fingers and
Bells on her toes and a bone in her nose ho, ho."
[Spoken] There she was, friends, lyin' there in all her radiant
Beauty, eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate,
Bowl of chittlin's, two bananas, three Hershey bars,
Sipping on a RC co-cola listenin' to her transistor,
Watchin' the Grand Ole Opry on the tube, readin' a Mad
Magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose
It's flavor?" Yeah, Ahab walked up to her and he say,
(imitate Arabic speech), which is Arabic for "Let's twist
Again like we did last summer, baby.!!" Ha, ha, ha!!
You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug,
Give him one of the sly looks,
She said (suggestive giggles, then outright laughter) "Crazy, crazy, crazy baby!"
('round and around and around and around, and around and around and around)
Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sand
---
Ahab the Arab - Kinky Friedman
