Adopduction

Kidnapped! I was kidnapped. I dreamed I was kidnapped. By a guy with a moustache And a chick with an eyepatch Who though they could trade me back For some quick cash. But when they relayed the bargain My family said, "we'll pay half that" the haggling went on for days, The days went on for weeks And weeks for years. Riding in the trunk was never fun But soon I plum ran out of tears. They camped us in the woods We cooked canned goods They never threatened me with pain. They treated cops politely Driving nightly Always using coded names. So if slowly I could trust them Dare I say it even love them Who's to blame. I learned my alphabet And letterset while setting up My latest ransom note. They got me correspondence classes, Got me glasses, Gave me dropcloths in the cold. My fondest memories Are from my hostage crises I know it's strange. Although we got so close You know they never even Told me their real names. --- Adopduction - Les Savy Fav