The Life Of A Troubadour

Clean up the dungeon, the king is home You know he's gonna wanna hear another sing-along Bring the crown downstairs and the blingy rope Hood sort of jewels, man, he can't leave them things alone He said the crown looks mush, is he wrong? Doesn't matter, grapes on the platter I was with the princess last night After the Mad Hatter got mad at her Man, I don't want the throne, the woman's a disaster I'm just tryna bag her a couple more times Then I'll give her back, he can have her Here, help me with the ladder I've been feeling under pressure, baby Got me feeling these feels inside I've been feeling under pressure, baby Got me feeling these feels inside I'ma have to ride this horse 'til springtime Shoulda never drank all the king's wine 'Cause when I woke up, I was still wearing my wig I walked down the hall Saw the king's head, it was next to the pig's, crown and all And guess what? The blood's on my saber Ha, see you later If I don't disappear, they gonna put me in charge of this shit And I just wanna play my guitar for this bitch Oh yeah, I took the princess, too She's a Stage 5 clinger Probably thinks I'ma give her a ring-a on her finger But fuck that shit All these princess bitches just wanna fuck a singer, a singer And the singer just wants to sing, fuck, I'm gettin' tired My saddle's too small and my legs are on fire I haven't eaten in days, I wanna go home This bitch drank all my wine and there's no smoke And I know, and I know that your family's all dead But what the fuck were they feeding you? Hog heads? Fat bitch Matter fact, get off the horse Yeah, I'll be right back I'm on my own now with the stupid horse The life of a troubadour I've been feeling under pressure, baby Got me feeling these feels inside I've been feeling under pressure, baby Got me feeling these feels inside Uh-huh, yeah, killed the king with that drunk singer's sword Where's the princess? Oliver, bring her forward The king had no sons, so now the throne's mine Once I bag the princess, I'm in the bloodline Talk to me Oliver We searched up and down The princess of Yore is nowhere to be found Jack saw her leave at the crack of dawn, and guess what? What? She was on the troubadour's arm Now Oliver, you gotta be kidding me Two nights ago, I fucked her 'til my dick broke One night, one fight and she's gone, this a sick joke? And for a muhfuckin' singer? Oh no, oh no I'm the Mad Hatter, if she ain't fuckin' with me Then nobody else can have her I'ma find him if it even means searchin' all of Liverpool Tie a horse to each limb, and let 'em pull Ha, giddy up There he is, I see him We meet again, where's the woman? I left her 20 miles back in the mountains I'd be very surprised if she's still alive Going up Peter's Past this time of year would be ill advised, ill advised Honestly, I didn't love her, I only loved being alone But I need her for the throne Fuck the throne, man, it's too much work People hanging on every single goddamn word Enough, tie him up, I got a idea right now (Huh?) Give me a dagger, put a apple in his mouth I ain't gonna leave you here to starve out I'ma slice your fingers off, play guitar now Take his little tambourine, too, what's he gonna use it for? The death of a troubadour I've been feeling under pressure, baby Got me feeling these feels inside I've been feeling under pressure, baby Got me feeling these feels inside