What If...

When I was younger I thought of caring As a reason for some to praise me, in envy "So humble and kind" "No better person" Now that I'm older I've seen what I've been Ruthless, ungrateful, always trying to turn up tracks Be it about me or you Seeking out the faithful in me With tricks of trust and gluttony I don't wanna wait for anyone When I was younger I thought of deep space Pick me up swiftly, carry me away Drop me off willing, light-years long gone Never again seeing those who I loved It's not about me this time, there I go lying again Please save my soul I don't know what I'm doing anymore Seeking out the faithful in me with singles and a pen Is it possible I'm overthinking this? It's not what I'm not, it's what I believe in It's not what I've got, it's my peace of mind Too early to see if I'm still in the past Too hopeful to be wasted time It's not what I'm not, it's what I believe in It's not what I've got, it's my peace of mind Too early to see if I'll be Seeking out the fraud in me With compassion and honesty, I'll wait --- What If... - Modern Baseball