Growing Sideways

So I took my medication and I poured my trauma out On some sad-eyed middle aged man's overpriced new leather couch And we argued about Jesus, finally found some middle ground I said "I'm cured" And I divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts Keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart I'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them But it's a start But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty I guess I'll drive I guess I'll drive So I forgot my medication, fell into a manic high Spent my savings at a Lulu, now I'm suffering in style Why's pain so damn impatient? Ain't like it's got a place to be Keeps rushing me But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty I guess I'll drive And if all my life was wasted I don't mind, I'll watch it go Yeah, it's better to die numb Than feel it all Oh, if all my time was wasted I don't mind, I'll watch it go Yeah, it's better to die numb Than feel it all But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day Lord knows there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty I guess I'll drive I guess I'll drive --- Growing Sideways - Noah Kahan