Mrs Worthington

Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage The profession is overcrowded And the struggle's pretty tough And admitting the fact She's burning to act That isn't quite enough She has nice hands Give the wretched girl her due But don't you think her bust is too Developed for her age? I repeat, Mrs. Worthington Sweet Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage Regarding yours Dear Mrs. Worthington Of Wednesday the twenty-third Although your baby May be keen on a stage career How can I make it clear This is not a good idea? For her to hope Dear Mrs. Worthington Is, on the face of it, absurd Her personality Is not, in reality Exciting enough Inviting enough For this particular sphere Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage She's a bit of an ugly duckling You must honestly confess And the width of her seat Would surely defeat Her chances of success It's a loud voice And though it's not exactly flat She'll need a little more than that To earn a living wage On my knees, Mrs. Worthington Please, Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage Though they said at the school of acting She was lovely as Peer Gynt I fear on the whole An ingénue role Would emphasize her squint She's a big girl And though her teeth are fairly good She's not the type I ever would Be eager to engage No more buts, Mrs. Worthington Nuts, Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage --- Mrs Worthington - Noël Coward