Masochist

This is a place I know too well Been down here a while, if you can't tell And I have analysed and tried my best to justify The sorrow I have brought upon myself Am I addicted to the misery, is this how I'll always be? Grinding the salt into every wound? Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment? You can't trust me to be there for you I thought I had this, I thought I had this all figured out You'd think I'd learned from all the shit I fucking screamed about When there was sun I couldn't see for the clouds, Still climbing the walls of this well just to dive back down Until I reached my rock bottom, Down to the marrow, bringing up the bad blood I'd forgotten Is it me that's making me sick? Been burning both ends of the wick Am I addicted to the misery, is this how I'll always be? Grinding the salt into every wound? Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment? You can't trust me to be there for you I've got this cold black silhouette hanging like a marionette, Casting a shadow, a shade on me Just a sick, sad, sorry mess, living like a masochist Your worst impressions were right about me Your worst impressions were right I could ask you to stay, if you're feeling forgiving I could live with the guilt, if you call this living I could try to memorise each grain of sand As it slips through my fingers, and falls from my hands It took me longer than I'd care to admit This life is only what I choose to make of it And the only thing standing in-between happiness and myself Was this depression I held so close to my chest Am I addicted to the misery, is this how I'll always be? Grinding the salt into every wound? Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment? You can't trust me to be there for you I've got this cold black silhouette hanging like a marionette, Casting a shadow, a shade on me Just a sick, sad, sorry mess, living like a masochist Your worst impressions were right about me Wasting a waning youth Waiting for something to help me pull through I never saw the sun through the clouds I lost faith when the skies were falling down