The Cheese Alarm

Roquefort and grueyere and slippery Brie All of these cheeses they happen to me Oh please Rough pecorino and moody Rams Hall Stop me before I just swallow it all Oh please Somebody ring the cheese alarm Oh please Somebody ring the cheese alarm Goats' cheese cylinder, tangy and white Roll over me in the flickering night Oh please Chaume and Jarlsberg, applewood smoked "The pleasure is mine," he obligingly joked Oh please Somebody ring the cheese alarm Oh please Somebody ring the cheese alarm Hey now, Fletcher, don't keep me up late I can't even fit into size thirty-eights Oh please Juddering Stilton with your blue-blooded veins You can't build a palace without any drains Oh please Oh please Oh please Half the world starving and half the world bloats Half the world sits on the other and gloats Oh please Truckle of cheddar in a muslin rind Would you give it all up for some real peace of mind? Oh no. --- The Cheese Alarm - Robyn Hitchcock