Perfectionist

Yeah I gotta let this one breathe a little bit 9th Wonder Chomp 2.5 Yeah I'm a recovering perfectionist, a self-destructive specialist My 32nd session with my therapist is evidence That I can't see I've made it, I'm like Dee Brown, wow I gotta couple chapters, I'm ashamed to read out loud I'm workin' on it, though I'm tryna be more patient with myself I robbed myself of so much joy, I'm making payments to myself I'm still in debt though Need to take my coat off, settle in, ignore the dress code I know that the hardest step is walkin' past my threshold I'm in my Depeche Mode Tryna just enjoy the silence, it's so hard to let go Once I do, I'm free (free) I know it's me vs me (me) I know it's not your job to reaffirm what I believe ('lieve) I'm workin' on becoming the person I clearly need (need) So I don't look for what I lack in someone else, I see That I'm still in the in-between But finally I voluntarily been takin' care of me Was rarely there for me, my inner child's scared of me I punished him unfairly We need more solidarity I don't care 'bout the people who base skills off popularity When I can close my eyes and see myself then I'll have clarity I love the women who are in my life, 'specially Sara Lee This industry's primarily fake, you can deny it But you silent publicly but showin' love to me in private All my wounds have told a story All the laughs and money hide 'em It's a shame the only language people speak sometimes is violence But I don't got pity for people that play themselves The bed they says uncomfortable's the same bed that they made themselves I'm showin' love, they hate themselves You cannot give them anything they haven't already gave themselves You cannot save somebody if they simply don't wanna save themselves I should've known what time it was The stab in the back don't hurt, it's when you turn and see who's knife it was I'm just tryna find the love Lookin' everywhere but within A white rapper is a fraction of the air that I'm in (for real) An outsider from the jump, it took a minute to hit me Why would I try to fit in with an industry that don't fit me? (Yeah) This is simply testimonial Slowly pull back the layers And get down to who I am because my fear is a container of my greatness I hate this, wait, this is just a test of patience The pain from all my mistakes is just somethin' I need more grace with My bruises became my muses, my pain had multiple uses Went from fuck y'all to forget y'all From middle fingers to deuces Deuces Yeah Chomp 2.5 9th Wonder From Winston-Salem to Atlanta --- Perfectionist - Russ