Epilogue

In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up And like before, you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake Your dreams still follow storylines, like fictions you would make So I lie down against your back, until we're both back in the hospital But now it's not a cancer ward, we're sleeping in the morgue Men and women in blue and white, they are singing all around you With heavy shovels holding earth, you're being buried to you neck In that hospital bed, being buried quite alive now I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together You're screaming And cursing And angry And hurting me And then smiling And crying Apologizing I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep But I know better as my eyes adjust You've been gone for quite a while now, and I don't work there in the hospital (They had to let me go) When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift) But you return to me at night just when I think I may have fallen asleep Your face is up against mine, and I'm too terrified to speak You're screaming And cursing And angry And hurting me And then smiling And crying Apologizing