No Reason Boner

This song is about a problem that I have Frequently There are three, three, three kinds of erections Some are s*xual Some occur during periods of nervous tension But there's a mysterious third kind That no one really understands It happens when your shlong decides To take matters into its own hands No reason boner No reason boner It baffles scientists No reason boner This morning I was having breakfast At the Midtown diner The bagel was delicious And the coleslaw couldn't be finer I got a weird look from the waitress When I asked her for the check I looked down and realized I was one hundred percent erect No reason boner No reason boner I like coleslaw but not that much No reason boner Hi! Welcome to the post office Thanks! I just need to mail this package No problem, just place it on the scale Sure thing! Oh! Oh god! I, I can't right now! Why not? I, I have to go, I have a, uh Doctor's appointment at the dentist's! Now things are a little awkward Between my mailman and I That was not my best lie I was just covering up for my No reason boner No reason boner That was the wrong kind of package to mail No reason boner Hi! Welcome to the zoo! Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys! Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques Wow! Macaque's really hairy Uh, so, what time does the zoo close? About eight o'clock Great! That gives me a chance t- Oh god Oh, not not now! Not in front of the children! Why have you forsaken me lord!? This is no laughing matter This is not some kind of game I can tuck away my Johnson But I can never tuck away the shame It can happen anytime It can happen anywhere When the Loch Ness Monster Decides he wants to randomly come up for air No reason boner, oh No reason boner You're ruining my life No reason boner No reason boner No reason boner Why? Boner --- No Reason Boner - Ninja s*x Party