Superhero

If I could be a superhero I would be awesome man I'd fly around the world fighting crime According to my awesome plan And if I saw criminals trying to lie Hurting other people and making them cry I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van 'Cause I would be awesome man Now, some criminals want you to be a criminal, And they offer you things like drugs, alcohol. But we know what to do, kids. We just say ‘no'. If I could be a superhero I would be drug-free boy Telling the world of the evils of drugs And all of the lives they destroy Well I'd take all the junkie He's getting so high With their needles and bongs And their sticks made of Thai As I burn them alive I would squeal with joy 'Cause I would be drug-free boy If I could be a superhero I'd be immigration dude I'd send the foreigners back to their homes For eating up all of our food And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood 'Cause I'd be immigration dude Now kids, you can make up your very own superhero. If you could, who would it be? If I could be a superhero Would you be justice guy? Making sure people get what they deserve Especially women who lie Like if a wife left her husband with three kids and no job To run off to fucking Hawaii with some doctor named Bob You could skin them and drain them of blood so they die (especially Bob) Then you would be justice guy Or you could be more subtle No I didn't mean to be vague Give her the mad cow disease Let him die of the plague As long as they suffer for their terrible lie (especially Bob) Then you would be Justice Guy Yes then you would be a superhero like me --- Superhero - Stephen Lynch