If I Was With A Woman

If I was with a woman she'd wonder what was happening Little things would slowly go askew If I was with a woman I'd make her quite unhappy Specially when she did not want me to If I was with a woman I'd make believe I loved her All the time I would not like her much If I was with a woman she'd soon become unsettled I'd show her but I would not let her touch Look at them laughing Look at them laughing Look at them laughing Laughing, laughing If I was with a woman I'd never ask her questions But if she did not want me to I would If I was with a woman I'd offer my indifference And make quite sure she never understood If I was with a woman I'd threaten to unload her Every time she asked me to explain If I was with a woman she'd have to learn to cherish The purity and depth of my disdain Look at them laughing Look at them laughing Look at them laughing Laughing, laughing I've been with a woman, she took away my spirit No woman's coming close to me again I've been with a woman, she took away my spirit No woman's coming close to me again Look at them laughing Look at them laughing Look at them laughing Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing --- If I Was With A Woman - Ian Dury and Ian Dury & the Blockheads